Showing posts with label Bedlington terrier. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bedlington terrier. Show all posts

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Public toilet deception, self cleaning towels and clippers.

I came across an advert for a new deodorant yesterday, 'Garnier Clean Sensation', which has an interesting tagline claiming that it can make you 'feel like you can wear your top twice'.
Regular readers will know that I think that far too much washing goes on these days, and so I welcome this brave act of marketing, but it still made me smile ruefully.
It may make you feel like you can wear you top twice....but will you openly wear your top twice?


When I was employed, most of my colleagues wore a different top to work each day. The really odd ones wore different trousers too. I kept a chart.
Upon being questioned, most of them admitted that they hang up the item having worn it once, to wear another day. The following day they put on a different top to give the impression of changing their clothes daily.
It's fiendishly clever when you think about it, but you need two tops to make it work.

Nowadays there's a lot of social pressure to 'act' clean.
You may look and smell fine, but in order to avoid being perceived as a grubby bugger, some people feel compelled to engage in costly and gratuitous acts of cleanliness.

I'm not against being clean and certainly not advocating schlepping around the place smelling like a doubly incontinent fish gutter. Some people really need a shower and clean clothes every day, or even more often. If you need it, fine. 'Embarrassing Bodies' will be happy to tell your story.
It's the 'show' cleaning that gets on my nerves.

Dave's Best Pants.
This facade is nowhere more apparent than in public toilets. When I'm in the cubicle of a public toilet, I hear people happily 'flush and go', providing that there is no one milling around outside. As soon as I exit the cubicle, anyone that exits after me washes their hands.

What I'm hypothesising, and it's very controversial, is that most people don't wash their hands after a having a wee in a public toilet unless someone is watching them.
Even in M&S.
And the bigger the audience, the bigger the wash.
On occasion, when there has been a particularly large queue of onlookers, I've seen exiters put on a complex display of  'show' cleaning involving a full strip wash, winnit check and a light gusset dusting of Ajax.

I haven't tested this theory on Tom Tits, as it's a fairly rare event to spot one in public. I may spend a few hours this weekend in the Tesco khazi waiting for someone to grow a tail and noting whether they wash their hands, although they might do a runner, leaving me looking like I did the smell should anyone arrive before I make my escape....
It's a fraught business conducting scientific research in a public toilet, and tricky to explain, if challenged. Just ask Chuck Berry.

I must admit that I'm against using public toilets for doing a solid, unless you have eaten at the establishment, in which case it's their fault and they must deal with the fallout.
It's never a satisfactory experience though, and best avoided by not eating out, which is an overly extravagant pursuit usually resulting in disappointment and self loathing.

One of the most extreme cases of stupid cleaning that I have ever come across was an acquaintance's insistence on washing their towels as soon as they had been used. If that's not a sign of not being wired up right, I really don't know what is.
The whole point of towels is to dry off a clean bit of you. They shouldn't ever need washing at all, like self cleaning ovens. If you use a towel and make it dirty, you need to look at your washing technique as something's going wrong somewhere.

Anyway enough cleaning talk, I'll move onto my handy tip for today.

Having left our Bedlington terrier's coat to grow over the winter, the time had come for his Spring Trim. As grooming prices start at around £25 for a dog of Monty's size, we've always done him ourselves, although we weren't looking forward to it this time as the clippers had been playing up and his coat looked like something off a Highland cow.
Anyway, it all went surprisingly well, thanks to giving the clippers a squirt of WD40 and a vigorous going over with an old toothbrush. The same treatment has also got my cuckoo clock going again and fixed Jimmy Nextdoor's clutch, so it's worth a try.

Next week we're doing Concord and Dave's hair.

We sell his pelt to the locals. They use it in spells. 

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Overrun by vermin...

It has been very cold here of late and it seems to have encouraged the local rodent population to move into our place.
For the last two nights we have been kept awake by scratching noises coming from the attic. After being woken up again last night, we decamped to the living room to sleep on the sofas, only to be kept awake by scratching noises that seemed to be coming from inside the living room walls....
I looked at the local council website and found out that they offer a 'mouse treatment' at £44.86, although interestingly their 'rat service' is free. It's the same for cockroaches.
Dave has found some tiny droppings in the attic so it's likely to be mice, but the scratching sounded so loud and powerful, I'm not convinced that we haven't got a rat or two as well. Either that or a nocturnal wood whittler is squatting in the loft.
Rather than paying the council, and in true money saving style, we headed off to the local shop to buy some mousetraps.
While driving to the shop I mused on how today is supposed to be the 'Busiest Shopping Day of the Year'. I imagine well dressed women in heels are currently tripping around Bond Street buying expensive trinkets from Asprey and stopping at lunchtime for glass of Chablis and half a dozen oysters at Claridges.
I'm buying mousetraps and coal, but I may have a snifter of carrot wine later.

We opted for the 'Little Nipper' trap which cost 95p each. We bought two and used peanut butter as the bait.
'Value' of course.

Setting the traps is not easy. It is an extremely stressful business and not for someone who is 'highly strung', like me. It reminded me of a game of Extreme Buckaroo, with the potential of a trip to casualty and a finger splint for the loser. By the time that I had finished I felt quite 'nervy', a bit like I was after watching The Hurt Locker .
Strictly speaking we shouldn't need mousetraps as we have a Bedlington terrier. This breed has been bred over the centuries with the sole purpose of making it a fearless and efficient Verminator. I don't think anyone had told Monty this as he is totally disinterested in mice, rabbits, cats or rats, but loves a tennis ball or a bowl of full fat milk.
The Killing Machine
Talking of peanuts, I thought that I would give these a mention:
The catchily named 'Mister Choc Peanut Choco' bars are available from your local Lidl. For around £1.50 you get over a pound of delicious Snickeresque goodness. Well worth the money and perfect for keeping out the cold. Or baiting a mouse trap, if you want to give them one last fleeting treat.

Thursday, 3 November 2011

Strange days indeed...

Bit of an odd one today, went into work, and sensed a definite "change" in the way some colleagues were with me. I get the feeling that  I am viewed by some as a bit of a pariah-not really sure why. Perhaps its because I have handed in my notice and stated my reason as simply being unhappy in the job. I suppose those who are remaining in the job are showing their support for the organisation by being slightly "cool" towards me. I've probably been guilty of it myself. Never mind, I'm off this week and then just 8 more shifts left.

On the subject of saving money, Dave decided to trim our Bedlington terrier, Monty, today. Anyone familiar with the breed will know that their poodle-like coat needs regular trimming. A lot of people use a professional dog groomer, who will charge at least a tenner. Well not in this house Girlfriend! I enclose a photo of Monty with freshly trimmed Barnet.